Preparing to Guide
Why guess when we can know how to become a Trusted Guide for young people?
Following is an introductory video explaining why we need to offer the young people in our lives more support.
Now to get started
We created six videos to help you prepare your heart and mind to connect more deeply with the youth you want to develop and guide to make good decisions. None of us adults naturally connect with youth for a variety of reasons. Therefore, we need to be intentional about our efforts to engage youth if we want them to open up and be more vulnerable regarding their current challenges and emotions. Many aspects of deeply relating to youth have to be learned. Asking the right questions, listening reflectively, and responding with the right words that leave them feeling heard, valued, and understood takes work. Following are a few foundational steps to position you to develop a relationship that could change or save a life.
Prepare Yourself to Guide
Unless you can park your bias, suspend your desire to fix and control things, and shift into high empathy, curiosity and validation mode, the rest of the steps below are useless.
Selecting an Initial Topic
The desired outcome of this first conversation is that the youth is open to having a second conversation. Therefore, we suggest choosing only one topic/theme to discuss to avoid overwhelming them.
Choosing a Safe Place
Selecting the right setting to meet with a young person, even if you are their parent, is trickier that you might expect. Choose a safe place where they feel comfortable letting their guard down and opening up.
Be Present
Make the youth your ONLY priority for the entire meeting. Be fully engaged, present with purpose, and totally unplugged from your phone, work, and other responsibilities. Give them the gift of your undivided attention.
Starting the Conversation
We recommend setting a calm and casual tone and pace for the conversation. Thank them for coming, ask open-ended questions that are easy to answer, draw out their self-talk, and enjoy the journey.
Introduce the One Thing
If you believe you have developed a strong connection and the young person is receptive to engaging in a deeper conversation, introduce the one topic/theme that you are curious to learn more about. If you are not sure, ask if they want to share more or continue the conversation at another time. Don't press.
